Thoughts From My Past

Let me begin by telling you why I chose the background for this blog, when I originally took this Course, Making Peace With Your Past, by Author Tim Sledge, I was given the book and a journal. I was encouraged to write in that journal. Writing in my Journal has become a lifestyle in my Spiritual walk. I encourage to get pen a paper an answer some of these question and see what you come up with and continue to journal about he things that happen in you life.



What are some of your oldest memories of your childhood?

I know for me one them is of P.E. always being picked last for the team. Has that ever happened to you as a child? Do you remember the pain of the rejection knowing that not only do you know but everyone else knows that "NO ONE WANTS YOU". I think those days on the playing field helped shape some of my future identity.

I was watching Miley Cyrus with the my kids and husband the other day and I watched that the lengths Miley would go to to be chosen for the team. She went so far as to handcuff herself to her best friend so that they would not have a choice but to have her on their team when they chose her best friend. That is feeling pretty desperate to be accepted and needing to be wanted.

What crazy things have YOU done to fit in or to feel wanted?

Imagine carrying around thoughts of not being good enough and not being wanted as an adolescent. Now add a little bit of being over weight, and now add a little bit of feeling not pretty and thinking you look more like a boy than you do a girl.

The stage is being set for my personality to be withdrawn, introverted and unfriendly, and to make food my best friend. I became all those things.

What I have learned, I learned that God want me on his TEAM and he does not make a looser, he waists nothing. That I am beautifully and wonderfully made that he accepts me for just as I am. That there is nothing about me that surprises him.

If you have found yourself relating to anything I have said, be encouraged. There is a Savior, some call him Jehovah, some call him Lord, some call himJesus, some call Heavenly Father.

I first called him Friend! He said come play on my team and I will help you WIN!

Truth for the Journey

Its' been some months since I have posted on this Blog. However, I was called to become a part of Move of God, it has been called an experiment. What was the experiment to move forward with God in a new way, to allow to become truly the center of my being. As I began to respond with comments with the rest of Ladies participating I began to notice that many of the ladies are where I used to be. As the Lord gives me the words I will begin to fill up this Blog with notes regarding making Peace with Your Past, I believe as a New Convert this especially will become vital to you regarding your Christian walk.. We all have a Past, a Past the Devil would just love to continue to throw in your face. Do not let things from you Past, be buried confess them and forgive those who have wounded you along the way!

KEEP COMING BY......................

Understanding Your Family Of Origin

Scripture To Grow On!

There is now know condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because trhough Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakended by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likenes of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not ive according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit (Romans 8:1-4) NIV

A dysfunction family focuses its attention on an emotionally needy family member.

For me in my family that needy family member was my Dad, he was an alcoholic and when he want drunk he was perfectionist. My mother struggled to keep him content. The other emotionally needy person my brother. I dont even remember life before he was born and we are twelve years apart. I often remember the thing I looked most forward to was Mom cooking my favorite meal and just locking myself up in my room with a magazine,chips and some music.

A dysfunctional family places limits on the expression feelings:

I remember always being told not cry and that I was never sick enough to stay home from school unless I had a fever.

I have learned that it is okay to have negative feelings about Family Members it does not mean that you do not love them. You can reflect on you painful childhood and still respect you parents. You can face your past and its pain and still have ongoing relationships in the future.

IN SOME WAYS ALL FAMILIES ARE DYSFUNCTIONAL! To begin healing from a dysfunctional family past you need to be willing to break the be silent rule!

The hardest thing for me in the beginning was to admit that I came from a dysfunctional family, that had to mean that I myself was dysfunctional. As it turns out I was right, but the encouraging part is, that through Christ I am released from the shame of the dysfunction.

Say Out Loud, " That you accept Christs' Love for YOU! You should say these at least five times a day for a week.

How My Family was Dysfunctional

While I was going through the Making Peace with your Past class, I discovered that my Dad was an Alcoholic, and allot of attention was placed on him, if he wasn’t happy no one in the house was happy. Often he would stay gone until after time for me to go bed. He would be at the bar drinking. Mom would be upset because she had cooked dinner only for him to not call or show up.

I also discovered that I was not allowed to show emotions, often I was told by father not to be cry baby or it wasn’t worth crying over!

Often the problems within the family were not discussed, even though it was pretty obvious to everyone within the walls of the home things were not how they should be.

I was the only child for eleven years until my brother was born, I so loved him, until I found myself jealous of him. Everyone soon became focused on him and pretty much stayed that way because he was more emotionally needy than my self. As I reflect about my childhood before we was born it is hard to remember anything. I STILL LOVE HIM TO THIS DAY AND HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, MORE ABOUT THAT AS WE GO.

I began to learn that these were the feelings that were OK,

Enjoying a Meal!

Solitude!

These were feeling that were not OK,

Sadness

Pain or Sickness-You don’t need a doctor, you are fine or you will be fine. ( I still struggle with this one today, and have on occasion said it to my own children)_

Anger